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[whathawksdo]

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[whathawksdo]

[ Okay, pushing back away from the counter top and picking up the tray of sandwiches. She shoves it towards Lucy. ]

Eat something. You'll have less a chance to say anything else ridiculous that way. [ Which gives Hawke more time to talk, too. ] Dorian Gray thinks he knows everything. He even thinks befriending me will actually stop me from setting him on fire again, which makes him an incredible idiot, just so you know.

[ Because Hawke truly enjoys setting things on fire, including immortals. ]

That said, you've lived with them for quite some time now, haven't you? Have they done anything untoward?

[illuminescent]

[She puts a sandwich in her mouth, chews, and listens. And swallows.]

No, of course not!

[She knows he's wrong, she knows it, but she needed to hear it from someone else.]

You truly set him aflame?

[whathawksdo]

Then why are you worrying? If that were their goal, they would have done something a bit more obvious by now. I'm not sure Athos even likes being touched, to be quite honest...

[ Or maybe it was only strange, troublesome women in particular that he didn't want touching his arm. Which, admittedly, is probably wise. ]

And yes. [ Hawke can't help it, a crooked grin breaking out across her face. ] Twice.

[illuminescent]

He likes it when I touch him.

[Well-]

Well, he tolerates it quite well, when I touch him.

[There we go.]

Would you do it again?

[whathawksdo]

[ Hawke raises her eyebrows, but doesn't comment. She knows, she knows, Lucy didn't it mean it that way! ]

What? Set Dorian on fire? [ Let's comment on that instead. ] If he follows through on his Halloween threat, then yes, I have no doubt he'll be set on fire again soon enough.

[illuminescent]

[Bless you for being the bigger person, Hawke.]

What did he threaten?

[She takes another bite of her sandwich.]

[whathawksdo]

Oh, just a prank. Nothing to worry over.

[ And yet it's worth setting him on fire for...

Anyway, Hawke helps herself to one of the sandwiches. She hadn't been lying about being hungry, so that wasn't just some excuse to make sure the tiny queen was fed. ]

[illuminescent]

If you stab him in the eye, he makes a very high-pitched cry.

[Just so you know.]

You do not think me stupid, do you? For concerning myself over the words of a viper?

[whathawksdo]

[ Way to make her choke on her food, Lucy. She snorts, making a few humorous faces before managing to swallow the bite of sandwich she'd taken. ]

Lucy! You didn't... did you? You stabbed him? [ On the bright side, Hawke doesn't sound disapproving, only startled, but that mellows out into a chuckle after. ] The little queen has teeth. I bet he wasn't expecting that.

[ Well, she's going to just set the sandwich aside until she's sure nothing else is going to surprise her. ]

You shouldn't worry so much. At the risk of sounding like I might be underestimating you, but I get the feeling you aren't exactly experienced when it comes to men. You're going to find yourself second-guessing a lot about them until you're a bit older.

[illuminescent]

[She almost blushes into her sandwich: how embarrassing, but there is a little pride there, too.]

He said truly vile things, and I lost myself in my own rage, but yes. In his left eye. I carry a little dagger where I go, and it was very quick.

[The thing about Lucy is that she is okay with hearing this sort of thing.]

My brothers are very careful with me, and most suitors wish to court my sister anyway, so you are right in that regard. I have very little knowledge about men, even as friends.

[whathawksdo]

He seems to have that effect on most people. You think after so many times, he might learn, but no, no, not Dorian Gray. Maker forbid that man ever have a second thought.

[ She has to wonder what it says about herself that she can even tolerate the man for as long as she does from time to time. ]

Well, no matter. I imagine he'll stay away for awhile now. [ Though perhaps Hawke should have some words with him... ] And I wouldn't worry. It's only a matter of time before you bring some poor boy home for your Musketeers to loom judgmentally over. A word of advice, I would suggest picking one that's good at evading swords...

[illuminescent]

[She covers her mouth with her hand for a minute.]

For which the High King blesses them all, I'm sure.

[And her eyebrows go up, and she's blushing a little.]

Yes, I'll have to choose someone quite immune to Athos' glare.

[whathawksdo]

[ There we go. Happier topic, no more dwelling on awful things that awful Gray has said. ]

Though if we're already on that topic, has anyone caught your eye?

[ As tough as Hawke is, that does not at all mean she's above gossiping about men. Well, boys in Lucy's case, but at least if Lucy's doing all the talking, this will remain PG. It might also give her enough time to actually eat a sandwich while the girl goes on and on about someone. At least, she can hope...

The answer could just as easily be no. ]

[illuminescent]

[She looks a little embarrassed; she has at least that much grace.]

If I did, I would tell you, surely.

It is hard to compare any man to d'Artagnan. They would have to be handsome indeed.

[She does this every time - she's not attracted to d'Artagnan that way, but she likes to tease and sigh and pretend, because it makes him squirm and laugh at her.]

[whathawksdo]

If you're comparing every boy to d'Artagnan, there's an unfortunate chance you may end up alone for quite some time...

[ Teenage boys versus a musketeer is really unfair, but she can't exactly fault the girl's tastes. Speaking of tastes, yeah, she's going to finally get around to eating one of those sandwiches now. ]

[illuminescent]

Oh yes, I have been quite spoiled in that regard.

[She's still teasing, and unfair. Because really, he's clever and kind and dashing, on top of his very good looks. And Lucy has to live with him.]

So I suppose I am doomed to spinsterdom. Although it is very odd, here, I have found many of the boys my age to be quite a challenge.

[whathawksdo]

Oh, spinsterdom isn't so bad. You get to keep the bed to yourself, no expectations for children... [ Though bringing up boys her age, well. ] They are trying, aren't they? But they can't all be idiots, I'm sure.

[ One sandwich through (as they were many, they are also quite small), she turns to nod back towards the fridge. ]

Anyway, if you are hanging out for awhile, it wouldn't do not to offer you a drink. You know, as a welcome to the "I Injured Dorian Gray" club.

[illuminescent]

I do not think so. At least, certainly no one has done anything I would consider courting.

[She sits up a little when drinks are mentioned.]

Do you mean liquor?

[whathawksdo]

No, no, I meant annoying, not that. [ Hawke can't help but chuckle. ] And, yes, liquor.

Or wine or beer. Between Pavus [ For she's really just going to start using her housemate's last name when dealing with people who hate the other Dorian. ] and myself, we probably have a bit of everything here.

[illuminescent]

Have you toffee-apple brandy?

[Only in Narnia, because toffee-apples don't grow anywhere else.]

[whathawksdo]

No, but I do have a nice spiced rum.

[ Though she wishes she had toffee-apple brandy. Toffee-apple brandy sounds good, like candy in a glass. ]

[illuminescent]

Then I will have some of that, please.

[Brightly said!]

[whathawksdo]

Have you ever had it before?

[ But she'll go fetch it regardless, along with two short tumblers. Of course, the rum isn't kept in the fridge and she isn't going to water it down with ice, so we're pouring this straight. Once poured out, she'll slide one glass over to Lucy. ]

[illuminescent]

The men of Telmar make it from sugarcane, which is prolific in their land.

[She takes the glass, and smells it carefully.]

I hope it is as good at theirs.

[whathawksdo]

Likely a lot more burny than you might be used to.

[ Yes, burny. It's not quite as smooth as the best alcohol out there, across all the worlds. ]

But it does the job.